It might work!
by Don Nash
Here’s a proposal that’s as old as the Old Testament and it just might work. A daringly bold premise and it could prove to be beneficial to our entire planet. It’s a theologically sound proposal and when one weighs in all the peripheral nagging little details, it could conceivably be a winner. What is it you foolishly might be asking yourself? Why the proposition known as “scapegoat.� We collectively dump all our national ills and sins on one poor chump and be done with it. All of it. From asymmetrical warfare and Rumsfeld “metrics� to John Yoo’s torture and CIA renditions. The Bush lies, the ‘stodgy’ intelligence, and the cowards in Congress. Every last ill-conceived Bush policy and every last congressionally corrupt indiscretion. All bundled together into one fetid and stinky prosecution and pinned on the “scapegoat� then the scapegoat is packed away for an eternity plus ten years. No “good time� for this sucker. No how, no way. From A to Z and whoopee, peace in the “homeland� at last. Brilliant, no?
Here’s the deal. Over this past weekend, the editor of the Weekly Standard and that would be William Kristol of the “cook up a war on Iraq and Iran� that editor of the Weekly Standard, made a genius statement and said “the Democrats need to shut up for six months and give Bush’s plan a chance.� Not an exact quote but it’s William Kristol and the quote is close enough. The “Bush plan� is the whiz-bang troop surge in Iraq. Kristol says the Democrats need to shut up for six months. That’s rich is it not? Any and every damn time the Bush disasters turn even more disastrous than they’ve been up to the present, some arrogant and ignorant meat-puppet like Kristol steps up and starts with the “six more months� chant. It’s almost like pundit clockwork.
The meat-puppet list of pundits that the Bush gang of war criminals use is extensive and exhausting to the last exercise in futility implemented by Bush or Rove and either idiot is interchangeable here. So with William Kristol shooting his mouth off again, I formally nominate Kristol to be our nation’s official “scapegoat.�
The U.S. of good old A. can blame Kristol for Bush’s election debacle in 2000. Then we can blame Kristol for 9/11/01 the national disgrace. Kristol could easily be a suspect in the 9/11 mess but, given the airplay of the 9/11 High Commission Report and Congress’s suspicious disregard for the facts in the matter, we just blame Kristol and be done with it. We blame Kristol for Afghanistan, Iraq, Chalabi, Usama bin Ladin, Exxon Mobil, Tom Delay, Jack Abramoff, Bob Ney, the election debacle in 2004, Ohio voter fraud, Florida voter fraud, Newt Gingrich, Antonin Scalia, Deadeye Dick Cheney and his shotgun binges on whomever might be close, the “failed intelligence�, the disgrace of Gen. Colin Powell, Fox News, Bill O’Really, the Terry Schiavo disgrace, Bill Frist and senatorial malpractice, Ted Kennedy’s car wreck, the death of John Kennedy Jr., Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, and the loss by the New Orleans Saints to da Bears.
Every last national sin or disgrace or crime or war crime or crime against humanity or foreign policy failure or nuclear misstep or space based weapons mistake or any and/all lies by George Bush and we pin it all on William Kristol and then send him straight away to the International Criminal Court at the Hague and we ask the nice judges that sit there to make an “example� of Kristol and put him away. For eternity and ten years. We would then be able to get around to the business of all being forgiven and kissing and making up with one another and Bush would have this epiphany thingy and be a changed man. America could get itself back on track whatever that might be and we wouldn’t have to listen to Kristol and his ilk spouting off about six more months and Democrats “shutting up.� Even if the Democrats shut up for six months, it might not help. However, Kristol being our national scapegoat might just be fundamentally sound and practical. The impending silence would and could be nationally appreciated. Meat-puppet pundits anyway.